If you have read my previous post, you are aware that I had a battle with Breast Cancer this year. (Please refer to my previous post for the details). After writing that blog entry, my husband and I met with an oncologist for a follow-up after the post surgery evaluation of the cancer. There were still some questions to be answered from the results, so we had to go back again in a couple of weeks. The oncologist was unsure of whether he wanted me to pursue additional treatment through chemotherapy and/or Tamoxifen. He knew our plans and hopes for more children and advised us that both treatments would likely eliminate the possibility of conceiving on our own again (please see my entry from April of last year). When we returned, he said that the surgery was enough and further treatment was unnecessary. What a huge blessing! He also let us know that the cancer was moving fast. When I had my biopsy, the technicians told me that they had removed most of the tumors. By the time of my surgery, 6 weeks later, the cancer had grown again to the point that it was beginning to invade the tissue outside of the duct. Another huge blessing that it was found so early.
At the time of my diagnosis, I had a vision of God.(if you have never heard of this, it is a supernatural dream, but most times while you are awake. It is a way for God to speak to us) He stepped off His throne and down into a battlefield. He was dressed like a Roman soldier, but without any helmet. I was standing on the battlefield, completely unprepared for battle, seemingly caught unaware. He stepped in front of me, swept me behind Him with His right hand, holding me there as He protected me from the battle waged against me. In His left hand, He held a large shield. With it, He stopped fiery arrows that were shot in my direction. I knew He would fight that battle for me. I did not need to fight. In Exodus 14:14, it says, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only BE STILL.”
He fights for us and He has already won the battle. We need only trust His will and His hand on our lives. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous (and victorious) right hand.”
If you know Him, God is always with you, giving you strength for your journey; helping you go through your storm. In Ephesians 6, Paul talks about the armor of God. In verse 16, the Shield of Faith is mentioned and is used to stop the burning arrows of the enemy. It occurred to me that the shield God used in my vision was not His own weapon, it was my faith that He used as the shield. Faith He had grown in me through many different trials in my life.
Every storm or battle we go through gives us the opportunity to build our faith and our shield grows larger. Now a strong faith does not guarantee that things will turn out exactly as WE would like them to. He does promise He will works all things for good for us though.
My story is the one God planned for me, but I know others have different and sometimes more difficult battles. If you have been battling breast cancer and have had to endure chemo or other treatments, it does not reflect on a lack of faith. God uses us to minister to others and He could be using you to show Him to another woman going through the same thing. I had that opportunity within 10 days of my surgery and it was an amazing experience. I was able to speak hope into someone else’s life and I am glad for the opportunity.
Though I never would have picked this path, I am grateful for it. The opportunity to minister to others and share hope has been one I never would have had without cancer. I am reminded of Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane before His death. He asked to be released from the painful experience he was about to endure, but He was submitted to God’s will and was aware of the good that would come from it. I have felt the same way throughout this experience. Though I prayed for a release from the battle, I trusted that God was in control and He would get me through whatever came my way. I knew He would use my experience for good for me, my family and others. Living life that way brings that ‘peace that passes understanding’ and joy which is our strength.
I pray that whatever storm you are going through will bring you closer to the God who created you and loves you and that you will find unexplainable peace, healing, joy and a growth to your faith. You will make it through. He fights for you and He will always be victorious.
